In tales of the knight-errant, the chevalier sees off threats and rivals to win the love of a woman – love that ennobles him and is his reward. Chivalry has always been about male competition. There is no doubt that it needs a radical rethink. But the modern-day form of chivalry might have less to do with the way men treat women than the way men treat other men. That would be a marked difference from the somewhat toxic model of codified behaviour we might traditionally recognise as chivalrous today – behaviour that can be dismissed as “benevolent sexism”, a form of preferential treatment that, while arguably well-intentioned, nevertheless relies on and perpetuates the sexist attitude that women are weak and men are strong. At the very least, such conduct from a man sends a message to the woman in the street: that he understands she might feel vulnerable that he empathises that he will adapt his behaviour accordingly, without expectation of reward. Viewed together, these actions appear to form a kind of gendered code of conduct, observed by men for the purposes of safeguarding women.Īt the risk of incurring the wrath of medievalists everywhere, I wonder: is this a form of chivalry? Or rather, could this be chivalry’s modern-day counterpart – a way of binding men in an instructive, compassionate social code in order to improve the lives of women? Rebranded as such, a new chivalric code could be constructive, and compatible with feminism today: it could help to create a culture that seeks to empower women, that protects not their honour but their autonomy. But some were more practical: if a woman walks down a street at night, a man can drop back or cross to the other side he can refrain from staring or making comments at women he doesn’t know with a female friend, he can offer to walk her home with a male friend, he can call out sexist slurs or predatory behaviour. Some suggestions were so fanciful it was hard to work out whether or not they were meant as jokes – a 6pm curfew for men, for example.
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